See you again at the interview.

Relationships that have passed for a long time can sometimes embarrass professional communication years later. Reuniting with ” old people “(such as ex-lovers or ex-spouses) in work-related situations, especially when going to an interview, creates no less ironic scene.

So how do we navigate such difficult and sensitive conversations, together ViralHire.vn let's look at those who have experienced this situation!

1. What do you feel when you suddenly “stumble upon the ancients””

Gene Caballero, co-founder of GreenPal, recounted the anniversary of a “reunion”. He recalled how confident he was when he walked into the interview room at the customer service center by phone (Dell's call center in Nashville, Tenn. That year Caballero was only nearly 30 years old, had a degree in business and possessed some relevant experience. In normal situations, one session interviewing the team in the presence of 4 hiring managers also could not confuse him. However, that day, glancing at the people sitting opposite, Caballero suddenly froze.

In front of him was not an “ordinary old man” like ex-girlfriends who used to be in high school or college, but the one he dated for 3 meaningful years. It was a peaceful breakup, although then the two sides did not keep in touch. Caballero heard that she was married, while he is still single. “After the initial shock, the Monday thought that quickly came to my mind was that she still looked great,” Caballero said. Soon he rushed to remind himself: ‘Hey, you're here for an interview.’

Encountering the “Ancients” in any situation can be awkward, but when placed in the context of work, it is especially confusing, so it is very necessary to behave delicately and cleverly of insiders.

“The connectivity of brain cells that are often directed to our former partners, especially those who have spent their youth with us, can be particularly strong. Meeting an old person can instantly reactivate feelings of regret, hope, anger, jealousy, sadness, and even charisma,” said Jonathan Bennett, co – founder of the Popular Man, which coaches relationships in Columbus, Ohio.

Fortunately for Caballero, he recovered very quickly and his” ancients ” also set out only the common questions like any other interviewer. She's not trying to force you into that. And as a result, Caballero won the job.

2. What is the best way to handle an accidental encounter with the “Ancients” and maintain a personal reputation?

Bennett advises starting by better understanding the first emotional relationships before age 25 that they can have a greater impact on emotional development than those in adulthood. “That's why you see more than 50 people still have a lot of deep memories of the people they dated in their teens.”

Even the most confident specialists can be caught off guard by the appearance of their ex. Kristy De Leon, a psychotherapist and relationship coach in Newport Beach, Calif, said: “high school or college breakups are often disturbing, while young people don't have enough emotional maturity to cope with these injuries.”Therefore, meeting the “old man” on the path of later life can reveal the immaturity and lack of maturity in your own feelings. It even hinders your ability resolve the situation before his eyes, De Leon explained.

De Leon also shared her own story, when she saw her high school ex while attending a conference with her colleagues in San Diego. He happened to attend another general conference venue with De Leon. It has been a long time since their “catastrophic teenage” breakup.

“The touch made me stop. It immediately brought me back as the confused and painful 15-year-old girl again,” De Leon said. But thankfully, she realized that it was time for her to practice what she usually advised her clients. She said to herself, “now that I'm an adult, I can't just act like I was 15.” So she walked up and said, “hello,” they talked a few words together, and that's it.

It is important to remember that these meetings can trigger high feelings for both sides about the breakup, De Leon said. “People who have done something that is guilty or hurts their opponent may recall and feel embarrassed because they can't apologize.”

Gabrielle Orcutt, a photographer in DuBois, Penn admits that she once had a broken heart when she ended her high school romance. It was a frustrating quarrel, the lover left shortly after 2 hours, and they had barely contacted since then.

So when she saw her ex-lover as a guest at a wedding she was hired as a photographer in 2015, Orcutt suffered a psychological shock. Every time he got into the sights of the lens, she thought, “what if I married him?” Orcutt also texted her husband about the encounter. Her husband immediately replied, ” Hmm, are you going home with him?”make you laugh and wake up. “At the time I realized that I didn't have to worry too much about this.”Because two hours earlier, when she was close enough to say hello, she smiled and waved, but nothing happened. He looked at her, squinted his eyes and drank a large sip of beer.

Mark Goulston, a psychologist and author of the book, said, ” You have to be aware that you can control your work. communicate with someone, but you can't control how they listen or respond.” He advises us to practice before the script, especially knowing that such an encounter may be imminent. Goulston suggests simply telling the truth in a friendly way, such as: “I saw your name on the list and wanted to say hello. I hope your life is still good!”. He also advises that it is best to find that person early before the event.

In work environments or work situations, there will not be much time for you to dig into emotions, but it will not hurt if you can actively prepare a scenario in advance to face them in the most professional way.

Image Source: Freepik